Dear Kilbey,
I can't believe this is almost goodbye. I can't believe you lie here next to me, body having withered away as it was ravaged by cancer, appetite suddenly gone. It is clear you'll soon be separated from me forever.
How do I tell you what you've meant to me the past 12 years? I suppose I can't in a way you'll understand, but perhaps I've shown you through my actions. I know I uprooted your comfortable existence when I moved to Kansas City from Augusta. You adapted well as you always have. Do you realize you've had seven different mailing addresses in your 12 years? Sure, you could accuse me of being one step removed from a transient, but you always took your new dwellings in stride. Within a few days you were running around as if you'd always owned the place.
And you did own the place. Let that be clear. Whether it was your favorite room (the bathroom) or the lap of whoever happened to be available at any given time, you were in charge. I've never seen a cat who so enjoyed acting like a dog. I remember the many times you would run to the front door to greet me when I'd come home after a long day at work. Even now in your emaciated state you do the best you can to greet me at the door. I will miss seeing you there.
I'd be willing to bet no other cat has ever enjoyed water and the bathroom the way you did. From the time you were a kitten you were fascinated by the bathroom. I'm probably partly to blame when I shared my Crest toothpaste with you. I never actually believed you'd find the pea-sized sample I gave you appealing. You showed me! Even though you eventually lost interest in toothpaste, you never lost interest in the process. How many times did you jump on the toilet or sink and study me morning, noon, and night when teeth were brushed? I don't know why I was so frustrated when you tried to rub on me while I was trying to spit over you. I'd give anything to have you in the way again.
Do you remember when you scared my Mom due to your bathtub fixation? Remember how you were in the tub licking the post-shower faucet (BTW, disgusting habit Kilbey!) and she didn't realize you were there as she settled onto the toilet? I still remember the shriek as you jumped from the shower to the toilet bowl and brushed against the back of her neck. It was probably a good thing she was already in position.
You had the most fascinating diet of any cat alive. Oh, sure. You ate your usual kibble. But how many cats beg for Doritos or potato chips? How many eat lettuce?! I'll always laugh when I recall you running to the door if you heard what could be a fast-food bag and try to guilt me into giving you french fries. And you'd eat them. You believed if it was on our plate you should have a sample as well. Not typical feline behavior you know.
You've seen me through relationships beginning and relationships ending. You have been the constant for me as I've been the constant for you. I don't know if you remember the day you were adopted when your brother was chosen by an old girlfriend. A year later they headed to California and we moved to Missouri. I haven't told you, but I heard your brother passed a couple of years ago. You'll get to be reunited soon. I hope you'll enjoy playing together as much as you did as kittens.
So now it's down to this. I've known this day was coming. Today the appetite came to a halt; you've ignored some of your favorite foods. Today is the first day I came home to find you hiding in the basement. I want to do right by you. I have to listen to my head, not my heart. I don't know the day or time, but I'm sure it won't be long now.
This isn't easy for me buddy. I'm not ready to say goodbye.
